Welcome to Module 4 of Coach School – Effective Communication

Questions for Clients

Write three broad questions you may choose to use with a client:

Write three specific questions you may choose to use with a client:

Write three probing questions you may choose to use with a client:

Write three questions that you consider to be solutions talk:

If a client has a roadblock in their life how could you coach your client get through this roadblock?

If you have a client that wants to achieve their goals but are not actively engaged in anything that is going to take them toward their goals, what possible solution talk could you use to help them take action?

Effective Communication

1. Think about a past conversation that you have had with someone that made you think, feel, or act different. What made that particular conversation shift your thoughts, feelings and actions?

2. Think about a past conversation that left you feeling terrible about yourself and the situation. What made that particular conversation unsuccessful?

Paraphrasing and Summarising

Paraphrasing

Example of paraphrasing content:

Client: I am trying everything for my girlfriend, I take her out, I buy her flowers, I cook for her special candlelit dinners and still she doesn’t give me the love and affection that I need. I really like her and I am trying so hard to keep her. Why is she behaving so unloving toward me when I am trying so hard to keep her happy?

Coach: It sounds as though you are working really hard to keep your girlfriend?

What could another response be?

Example of paraphrasing feeling:

Client: I feel so overwhelmed; I have so much work to do. I get up early to begin work, stay late to finish work and skip my lunch breaks just to meet the deadlines that my boss has set on me. I am feeling physically and mentally exhausted. I have no time to spend with my wife and she is really starting to resent me for all the work that I have been putting in at the firm. I feel like a failure at home and at work I am feeling spacey. I feel as though whatever I do I still lose.

Coach:  I am  hearing you are feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. You are trying to please your boss and as a result your relationship is affected.

What could another response be?

Write a possible paraphrase in your own words for feeling and content for each of these statements:

1. Client: I have just been dumped by my boyfriend. I hate him. I am never going to date another man ever again. It’s certain; I need to move away from men and focus on my career. They are such jerks you know!

Feeling paraphrase:

Content paraphrase:

2. Client: I turned up to work this morning and there was a letter on my desk stating that I had been fired. There has been no warning from my boss. I am a good employee and they have just gone ahead and done this to me. I feel awful, what am I going to tell my husband and kids?

Feeling paraphrase:

Content paraphrase:

3. Client: My week has been fantastic, I have lost 2kgs, met a new man and finally found that car that I wanted to buy that we were talking about last week. Would you believe it? And then two days ago I bought a lotto ticket, and won $10,000. It just keeps getting better and better.

Feeling paraphrase:

Content paraphrase:

4. Client: I just feel as though my life will never get on track again. After losing my son, things just haven’t been the same. Then on top of that, my ex-husband phones me today and wants to take me back. I don’t know what to do, I miss him but I am still grieving from what happened with our son.

Feeling paraphrase:

Content paraphrase:

5. Client: I made the finals and now I am flying to America on Monday. I am a little nervous and somewhat excited at the same time. I feel like I need to pinch myself to see if I am awake. I have so much to organize, in the mean time I need to get my travel insurance sorted, someone to mind the house, someone to look after my pets, and a final doctor’s visit.

Feeling paraphrase:

Content paraphrase:

Summarising

Write a summarizing statement for each of the following coaching scenarios:

Scenario 1: From a young age, my mother imposed upon my sister and myself her beliefs about food. At an early age, I was fortunate enough to question those beliefs. When I was in college I started reading and researching diets and nutrition. The people around me, in my environment here at the lodge, have all influenced my eating in the last two weeks, I never really kept a hold of the information that my mother passed on and when I was growing up. I never had any other influences from the church or the community. We just ate what we could afford. That belief has changed because my values have changed.

Also, my knowledge has changed because I am more informed now and am able to make appropriate decisions about what to eat and I try to do so accordingly. Although at times I still have urges, I am much stronger than what I was and over the last week while those groups around me at work have been eating certain quantities of food I am stronger now than what I was and I am able to decide for myself what is best for me with food and the quantities that I eat.

Scenario 2: When I had to do my presentation for work on Tuesday, I was challenged by all the different perspectives in the room, the different beliefs, values etc. I did not know how to deal effectively when this arose. I knew it was good that this happened, but I wish I could have taken it in my stride and dealt effectively with it.

The second challenge was my fault. I should have been more prepared with the camera. I got to the room an hour earlier to set up thinking that would be plenty of time, but boy was I wrong because the time went by so quickly and before I knew it people were arriving and I still hadn’t managed to set everything up. Having someone to help me would have been better still, one of my co- workers got there half an hour after me, which was still good and helped. But by starting later than the scheduled time it threw me of course mentally and I found it hard to get back on the horse. The other challenge was my own thinking, I found myself thinking about what others think of me. I had in my mind a need for the group to like me and I thought for me that was a challenge because my mind was not focused on the task at hand.

Scenario 3: Boundaries are really important to me at work and at home. They show that you value yourself and the situation. I am looking at them in a different perspective now. I know that it is my right to set boundaries in my coaching business; it will make for a professional and respectful practice. I like this power tool because I can use it in my personal life with family and friends. I don’t need to feel guilty if I have boundaries; I think it shows people that I value myself in my personal life. I will be able to apply this at home as well, so my flat mate knows the boundaries with me, so she doesn’t  keep invalidating me. I don’t want to be taken for granted in my personal and professional life, it is going to be critical for me to set boundaries and zones that people can’t over step.